6x17 Tag: Now or Never
by Colourful Glitter
Summary: Lisbon pays Jane a visit after her date with Pike because she has questions that only Jane can answer.


**Author's Note: Hey, everyone! Yes, I am still alive. Sorry about not being very active this last little while, but school and stuff has left me tired and not very creative. But my first year is almost done and I hope to be back to writing a lot more very soon! I am working on my other multichapters too, but I really wanted to do another oneshot tag. This is for the last episode, the ending broke my heart a little bit. No big deal or anything. Anyway. I hope you all enjoy this oneshot episode tag! Sorry again for not being very active, but I hope to be much more active very soon!**

**Discalimer: If I owned The Mentalist, Jisbon would have been cannon so long ago. Sadly, I don't own it though.**

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Jane was making himself a cup of tea later that night in his air stream when he heard a knock on the door. He paused for a moment, confused because he hadn't been expecting anyone, before he put his things down to answer the door. His brow furrowed, but his heart leapt happily when he saw that Lisbon was the one knocking. "Teresa. What are you doing here?" He asked as casually as he could manage as he let her in. She was still in her date outfit, heels and all.

Lisbon huffed as she stepped past him, into the little greeting area of the air stream that was barely able to fit them both.

"What's with the long face?" Jane inquired as he shut the door and went back to the small kitchen space where his tea was waiting. "Would you like some tea to cheer you up?"

Lisbon fumbled for a moment to remove her shoes. "No." She said flatly, then added on a second thought, "Thank you."

"You sure? It's camomile. Good for relaxing and-"

"No, thank you." Lisbon repeated.

Jane left it at that. "So, what has you here at nearly midnight?"

Lisbon continued to look at him, lips pursed.

Jane returned her gaze, sipping his tea and trying not to look nervous.

"We need to talk." Lisbon finally said.

"About?"

Lisbon thought for as moment before she replied. "Everything."

Jane didn't respond to that, as he didn't know what to say and decided that the safest course of action was silence.

"No snappy comeback?" Lisbon raised a brow.

"I don't think this is the time."

Lisbon sighed and went to sit on the built in couch slowly, making sure he had time to protest if he had wanted. But he didn't. In fact, he put his almost empty cup down and joined her on the couch. They both sat in silence until Jane finally spoke.

"So you wanted to talk."

Lisbon shifted her gaze from her hands that were tightly folded in her lap to him. "Yes."

"Then go ahead." Jane encouraged. "Say what you wanted to say."

She opened her mouth and took a deep breath but closed it again before any words actually came out. Then she looked back down at her hands. She had come here to talk because she was really frustrated and knew that it was necessary in order for her to think properly about her personal life. She had found a man-Pike-who loved her, at least he said he did. She liked him back, too. He was straightforward in everything he did. He told her what he was thinking about she didn't have to second guess herself around him. She liked that. _Truly_ _appreciated_ that. So, why didn't she feel right going out with him. It was nice, but it hadn't felt completely _right_. And it felt very wrong tonight in particular. Why? Because of Jane. His little kicked puppy look that he probably didn't think she had seen, but she had. It was painful leaving him there on the couch in the bullpen as she left, but she had to. She had to _try_ to have a life beyond him, especially when he wasn't giving her a reason not to. If he actually wanted her, he was free to say so. He had been free to say so for _years_ and she wasn't going to wait around forever. But they still had issues they needed to talk about. Still, she was regretting coming to see him. She thought she'd rant to him. Tell him how he was a total idiot and how she was mad at him about leaving and his interference with her blossoming relationship-even if that was unintentional, but who ever knew when it came to Jane. Certainly not her.

"Teresa?" Jane's voice snapped her out of her thoughts that were swirling around in her brain and she looked at him again.

"I can't do this." Lisbon shook her head.

"Do what?"

"This." Lisbon gestured to them both. "Whatever it is we're doing."

"You can talk to me about anything."

"That's not what I mean." Lisbon shook her head.

"Teresa, what is wrong? I don't understand."

"There's a first." Lisbon muttered sarcastically. "I thought I was an open book to you."

"Teresa. I don't want to guess-"

Lisbon looked up at him, furiously. "You don't want to guess? _You_ don't want to guess!? How do you think I feel!? Our entire relationship has just been a guessing game for me! You can't ever tell me anything up front! You can't _ever_ be straightforward with me! Sometimes you don't even act like you trust me, then you claim that you do and _you don't want to guess now_!? Do you even understand what it's been like for me these past twelve years!? Clearly you don't! Because you're Patrick Jane and as long as you get what you want, it was okay, right!? You think I liked being put on suspension for you!? You think I liked that my job was never as important as you!? I didn't! They could fire me, no problem if they wanted, but not Patrick Jane. No-"

"That's not true." Jane interrupted. "I would never let them fire you. If they got rid of you, they got rid of me."

"That doesn't make it any better, Jane." Lisbon looked at him, teary-eyed and frustrated. "I don't want to be saved by you. Or anyone else, for that matter. I can take care of myself. I have my whole life. I'm perfectly capable. I don't need you coming to my rescue. I don't need you to get me a job."

"What are we talking about? Is this about the CBI? Is it about me coming back? Did something happen tonight with Pike? I don't understand."

"It's about us."

"What about us, exactly? You keep changing what you're talking about. One second it's the CBI and the next it's the FBI and now us?"

"I…" Lisbon thought for a moment. "I just...There's so many things that I don't understand and I'm trying to figure it all out."

"What do you want to know? Why do you need to know them so suddenly?"

Lisbon shot him a look. "It's not sudden."

"Okay." Jane conceded. Whatever she was trying to talk about and figure out was clearly very important if it had her this upset. She didn't seem quite herself. Maybe she'd had a bit too much to drink as well. "Whatever you need to ask me, I will answer you. Just take a deep breath and think about where you want to start. Would you like some tea?"

Lisbon shook her head.

"Okay." Jane said and then just waited for her to speak again.

Lisbon sounded nervous when she finally spoke. "How...what do you feel for me?"

"I'm sorry?"

Lisbon looked up at him again and fought with herself for a moment before rephrasing her statement. "Do you love me?"

Jane was completely taken aback. He hadn't expected her to be so direct about it. What did she want him to say to that? What did _he_ want to say to that?

"God, Jane. Just tell me the truth! Yes or no. That's all I want." She watched him, waiting for an answer and now it was his turn to look away.

It was now or never for him and he knew it. "Yes." He said barely above a whisper. He looked up at her, not sure what he was expecting to see.

"Okay." Lisbon breathed.

Okay? He admitted to loving her and her response was _okay_? "That's it? That's your reply? _Okay_?"

"Well what do you want me to say?" Lisbon retorted.

"I want you to tell me that you feel the same way."

Lisbon got up, feeling uncomfortable sitting, and started pacing.

Jane was a little worried. Was that not what she had wanted to hear from him? He had known that she felt something for him. Loved him. But, why didn't she look relieved, like he would have expected her to if she felt the same way? She just continued to look upset and, if anything, more stressed. "Teresa-" He got up to stop her from pacing.

"No." She told him, softly.

"What?"

"I'm not done."

"What do you mean? What else do you want to know?"

"Why didn't you tell me? You had years, Jane. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was protecting you."

Lisbon rolled her eyes, blinking away tears. "Red John has been gone two years, assuming that's what you're talking about."

"Yes, that's what I'm talking about."

"_He's been gone two years_. You left me. Not for the first time. Then you come back and you still don't say anything. You had months, but you don't do anything or say anything. And I'm trying to move on because I can't wait for you forever and you're still here ruining it for me."

"I didn't do anything." Jane said, stubbornly. "How am I ruining it for you?" Though, the selfish part of him was glad that he was the reason she was questioning her relationship with Pike.

"You make me go undercover with you as your girlfriend, you call me beautiful and you act weird Marcus is mentioned or when he's around."

"I don't act strangely when it comes to him."

Lisbon wiped at a falling tear. "You do so. I saw that eye roll earlier. And that sad look when I left."

"You didn't have to leave." He told her quietly.

"You didn't have to let me."

Jane blinked. She was right. He could have asked her to stay. There were a lot of things he could have done, but he hadn't. "I love you and I want you to be happy-preferably with me. But, you were mad about me making the FBI offer you a job. You said you didn't want me to make all your decisions for you. I didn't want you to feel like I was making this decision for you."

Lisbon took a deep breath as her eyes fluttered shut. "God. We're _both_ idiots."

"I guess so." Jane gave her a small smile. "But I'm glad you made the decision to come tonight." He closed the distance between them in two steps and began to wrap her in a hug.

"Don't hug me." Lisbon put a hand on his chest. "I'm not done being made at you."

He hugged her anyway, fiercely, despite her protests.

"I'm still really mad at you." Lisbon's sniffled against his shoulder. "You have to answer for everything."

Jane pulled away just enough to look at her and smiled. "I would expect nothing less." He kissed her forehead and Lisbon blushed.

Lisbon rested her head against Jane's shoulder again, feeling very tired. "I feel like I played Marcus. Not even five dates and it's over. I'm horrible."

Jane reached a hand up to run his fingers through her hair. "It's not all your fault. Things happen."

"I don't even know what I'm going to say to him." Lisbon sighed heavily.

"You don't have to think about that right now. I'm sure you and I have enough to talk about right now as it is." Jane said gently.

Lisbon lifted her head from his shoulder. "We do."

"Would you like to go home and change first? Not that I mind you in that dress, but you might be more comfortable in something else."

Lisbon looked down at herself, remembering that she was still in her date outfit and blushed deeply. "If you don't mind."

"Not at all. I'll come with you."

"No funny business."

Jane smiled wider. Wouldn't think of it. One thing first, though."

"What?"

Jane leaned forward, pressing his lips softly to hers and he felt her tense a bit in surprise. He was about to pull away when he felt her relax against him and then he deepened the kiss.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you before. I was just…I kind of lost it and-" Lisbon whispered breathlessly when she pulled away.

"More things we need to talk about. Later." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers quickly before he pulled away again. "Lets get you home and into something more comfortable. Then we can talk more."

Lisbon smiled softly and nodded at him as they left.

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**Author's Note: So, that's it for now. Thanks for reading, please leave a review and let me know what you thought!**


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